The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love
to a very attractive young woman.
'You disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a
faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a
divorce!'
The husband replied 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you
what happened.'
'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed, 'But they'll be the last words you'll say to
me!'
And the husband began: 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and
this young lady asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and
defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that
she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me she hadn't
eaten in three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up
the enchiladas I made for you last night - the ones you wouldn't eat because
you were afraid you'd put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in
minutes.
'Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and, while she was
doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw
them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans you
have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you
don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister
gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also
donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use
because someone at work has the same pair.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued, 'She was so grateful for my
understanding and help, as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with
tears in her eyes and said, 'Please . . . Do you have anything else that
your wife doesn't use?' !!
