If Your Teacher want You to Fail

Surat dari seorang pria di Birmingham kepada temannya di London:

"Saya muak dengan dirampok dan dirampok setiap hari di lingkungan saya. Sistem alarm tidak ada gunanya jadi saya mencabutnya dan membatalkan pendaftaran dari Pengawasan Lingkungan lokal kami yang tidak efektif...

Sebaliknya, saya telah menanam bendera Taliban di setiap sudut taman depan saya.

Sekarang, polisi kota, Biro Keamanan Nasional, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, CIA dan setiap dinas intelijen lainnya di Eropa semuanya mengawasi rumah saya 24x7x365...

Saya diikuti ke dan dari tempat kerja setiap hari dan istri saya juga ketika dia pergi berbelanja.

Jadi tidak ada yang mengganggu kita sama sekali ...

Saya tidak pernah merasa lebih aman... Semua berkat "Taliban." 😂😂

Five

Aussie surgeons from big cities are discussing what type of person makes the best patient to operate on.

The first surgeon, from Brisbane, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second, from Perth, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon, from Adelaide , says, "No, I really think librarians are the best! Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon, from Sydney chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers... Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.'

But the fifth surgeon, from Melbourne , shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine... Plus, the head and the arse are interchangeable."

Which One is Batman?

꧁Pandemic laughter꧂

꧁• Never in my wildest dreams have I imagined myself entering a bank, wearing a mask, and asking for money.

꧁• Never thought my hands would one day consume more alcohol than my liver...ever!

꧁• Quarantine seems like a Netflix series: just when you think it's over, they release the next season.

꧁• I'm starting to like this mask thing. I went to the supermarket yesterday and two people that I owe money to didn't recognize me. 

꧁• Those complaining 2020 didn't have enough holidays, what now?!

꧁• I need to socially distance myself from my fridge; I tested positive for excess weight!

꧁• Could someone tell me if the second quarantine would be with the same family or we get to exchange?

꧁• I'm not planning on adding 2020 to my age. I didn't even use it!

꧁• We want to publicly apologize to the year 2019 for all the bad things we said about it. 

꧁• To all the ladies who were praying for their husbands to spend more time with them, how are you doing? 

꧁• My washing machine only accepts pajamas these days. I put in a pair of jeans and a message popped up: "Stay Home!" 😷