Ironman miscalculation of the suit design

Goku had too much powerup

Batman always wins even being the only superhero without power

Pelajaran hr ini : Koran vs iPad

Istri: Pa, tolong ambilin koran itu dong.

Suami: Ah, kamu ini... Dunia udah semaju sekarang, semua udah serba digital, kamu masiiih aja baca koran. Nih, pake aja iPad-ku.

Lalu sang istri menggunakan iPad tsb utk memukul kecoa di lantai.

Suami-pun pingsan...

Moral of the story: apa yang istri minta, kasih aja lah..

Difference between man and women

Two Women Friends chatting in office.

Woman 1: I had an awesome evening, how was yours?

Woman 2: It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?

Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.

Husband 1: How was your evening?

Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?

Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there’s no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn’t paid the bill, so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn’t have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour; and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! After all that, I was so aggravated that I couldn’t fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour.

15 WAYS TO PISS ME OFF: (Hilarious)

ONE
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

TWO
People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

THREE
When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

FOUR
When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

FIVE
When people say while watching a film "did you see that?" No tosser, I paid 10 bucks to come to the movies and stare at the fucking floor.

SIX
People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

SEVEN
When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

EIGHT
When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

NINE
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead?

TEN
People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears!

ELEVEN
When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

TWELVE
People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks, that's an image I really didn't need.

THIRTEEN
McDonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks..........Well, I'll get a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fuckin McTosser.

FOURTEEN
When you involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you alright?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off!

FIFTEEN
When people say 'can I borrow a piece of paper I'll pay you back' It's one god damn piece of paper you retards, I don't want it back!

Dialog Dengan Hantu

Dialog Dengan Hantu
_____

0RANG: "Mengapa anda sering menakut-nakuti manusia tetapi anda juga cepet menghilang ?"

HANTU: "Kami hanya ingin berkenalan dgn orang & mengadakan bisnis antar lain dunia, tetapi ketika kami baru menyapa kebanyakan mereka langsung kabur. mungkin karena sangking jeleknya"

ORANG: "Tapi mengapa anda sering muncul di kamera" ?"

HANTU: "Kalau hal itu kami hanya ingin eksis saja didunia manusia. Karena didunia hantu tidak ada kamera, jadi pas ada acara yg berbau mistis kami kami tampil deh, biar eksis kaya artis hantu lainya seperti:
SUSTER NGESOT,
SIMANIS JEMBATAN ANCOL,
POCONG dll".

ORANG: "Apakah didunia hantu tdk ada internet ?"

HANTU: "Kalau didunia hantu ada internet, kami akan nengupload sendiri foto" kami."

ORANG: "Ini yg sering terjadi, mengapa anda sering merasuki raga seseorang ?"

HANTU: "Kami melakukan hal itukepada orang yg pikiranya kosong & jika kami masuk kan minimal kami dapat berfikir dgn pikiran manusia. Ya maklumlah IQ kami tdk lebih dari 20."

ORANG: "Ohya, mengapa anda sering bersemayam d pohon" besar ?"

HANTU: "Ide itu kami dapatkan pada ilmu biologi yg mengatakan bahwa tumbuhan bernafas megeluarkan karbon dioksida & mengeluarkan oksigen. Jadi kami bersemayam dipohon" besar karena udaranya sangat sejuk."

ORANG: "Anda juga kedapatan sering menghuni rumah" kosong, bagaimana anda menjelaskanya?"

HANTU: "Anda tahu sendiri kontrakan mahal. Jadi terpaksa deh kami menghuni rumah" kosong."

ORANG: "Terimakasih banyak atas kehadiran anda."

HANTU: "Ya sama" capcus ciiin."


Gilaaaaaa kalah gaul gue ma Hantu,
Dasar hantu Gila Loe !
Hahahaaa