http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Nice One...
I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a goddamn motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.
I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
So I called him a pencil necked nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tyres!!
So I called him a horse fucker. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!!
This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
When I had run out of insults I finally said "I didn't give a shit how many tickets you write, my car is parked around the corner"
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
So I called him a pencil necked nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tyres!!
So I called him a horse fucker. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!!
This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
When I had run out of insults I finally said "I didn't give a shit how many tickets you write, my car is parked around the corner"
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Monday, January 28, 2013
Boss Sign
A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later on after the meeting, he went home for lunch and was happy to find a small sign that read, "I'M THE BOSS". He took it back to the office and taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
The Difference Between Dogs and Cats
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me ... They must be gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me ... I must be a god!
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me ... I must be a god!
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
How to solve nations problems
CLASSIC. Although aimed at the UK, it's equally true in many other nations
Dear Mr. Cameron,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/ university -
Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/ tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Also.....
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Think about this (more points of contention):
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Saturday, January 26, 2013
A Cleaver Ex-Wife
After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary.
His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith's multi-million dollar home and since the man's lawyers were a little better he prevailed.
He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes crates and suitcases.
On the 2nd day she had to movers come and collect her things.
On the 3rd day she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly the house began to smell. They tried everything cleaning mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even replaced the expensive wool carpeting. NOTHING WORKED.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairman refused to work in the house.
The Maid quit.
Finally they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later even through they had cut their price in half they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house ha been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.
INCLUDING THE CURTAIN RODS. ;)
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Friday, January 25, 2013
PSYCHIATRISTS vs BAR TENDER
I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under my bed. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.
Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the psychiatrist. Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.
How much do you charge?
Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor.
I'll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you, I said.
Six months later the Psychiatrist met me on the street.
Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having? he asked.
Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV.
Is that so! With a bit of an attitude he said, and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?
He told me....
to CUT THE LEGS OFF THE BED, ain't nobody under there now!
SCREW THOSE PSYCHIATRISTS.. GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BAR TENDER.:)
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the psychiatrist. Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.
How much do you charge?
Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor.
I'll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you, I said.
Six months later the Psychiatrist met me on the street.
Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having? he asked.
Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV.
Is that so! With a bit of an attitude he said, and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?
He told me....
to CUT THE LEGS OFF THE BED, ain't nobody under there now!
SCREW THOSE PSYCHIATRISTS.. GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BAR TENDER.:)
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
If Live was a Computer Program
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
lot of space and valuable resources.
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night
10.3, Football 5.0 , Goingtothepub 7.5 , and Softball 3.6.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to
run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to
Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 .. Please
help!
Thanks,
Troubled User.....
____________ _________ _________ _______
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it
is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend
7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from
the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to
not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/
Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on
improving the situation. I suggest installing the background
application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE!
because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance
. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and
Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this
happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to
purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0
!
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With
Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and
will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!
Best of luck,
Tech Support
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Telepon NERAKA Tarif Lokal
Pada suatu pertemuan di Washington seorang pejabat Indonesia bertemu dengan pengusaha raksasa produsen telpon genggam. Cerita punya cerita sang produsen menawarkan produknya, sebuah HandPhone GSM yang bisa digunakan menghubungi kemana saja termasuk ke surga dan neraka.
Pejabat tersebut akhirnya mencoba menghubungi Istri pertama yang telah meninggal akibat STROKE....
Sang Pejabat tersebut bertanya pada si Pengusaha Amerika ini, tentang berapa harus membayar untuk pembicaraan 3 menit tadi. sang Pejabat harus membayar US$200 ,ternyata mahal juga . tapi tak apalah ...
Akhirnya Sang Pejabat tertarik membeli HP sejenis dan membawanya pulang ke Indonesia. Sampai di Indonesia dia menghubungi sang istrinya yang sudah meninggal tadi. Setelah berbicara hampir 1 jam dicek bahwa pembicaraan itu hanya menghabiskan US$10. Langsung dia menghubungi Si Pengusaha Amerika tadi: "Mrs yang bener aja kemarin di Amerika saya pakai cuma tiga menit harus bayar US$200, di sini saya coba pakai 1 jam cuma US$10."
Si Pengusaha Amerika dengan santainya menjawab, "Ya tentu saja...Indonesia khan dekat dengan NERAKA, tarifnya juga Lokal".
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Pejabat tersebut akhirnya mencoba menghubungi Istri pertama yang telah meninggal akibat STROKE....
Sang Pejabat tersebut bertanya pada si Pengusaha Amerika ini, tentang berapa harus membayar untuk pembicaraan 3 menit tadi. sang Pejabat harus membayar US$200 ,ternyata mahal juga . tapi tak apalah ...
Akhirnya Sang Pejabat tertarik membeli HP sejenis dan membawanya pulang ke Indonesia. Sampai di Indonesia dia menghubungi sang istrinya yang sudah meninggal tadi. Setelah berbicara hampir 1 jam dicek bahwa pembicaraan itu hanya menghabiskan US$10. Langsung dia menghubungi Si Pengusaha Amerika tadi: "Mrs yang bener aja kemarin di Amerika saya pakai cuma tiga menit harus bayar US$200, di sini saya coba pakai 1 jam cuma US$10."
Si Pengusaha Amerika dengan santainya menjawab, "Ya tentu saja...Indonesia khan dekat dengan NERAKA, tarifnya juga Lokal".
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Monday, January 14, 2013
Relaxing
One day Bongani was enjoying the sun in South Beach in Durban .
A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing?"
Bongani answered, "No, I am Bongani ."
Another guy came and asked him the same question.
Bongani answered, "No! No! I'm Bongani!"
A third one came and asked him the same question again.
Bongani was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw a certain guy soaking in the sun.
He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?"
This guy was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."
Bongani slapped him in his face and said,
"Shit, you lazy bastard... Everyone is looking for you and here you're lazing in the sun!!!
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing?"
Bongani answered, "No, I am Bongani ."
Another guy came and asked him the same question.
Bongani answered, "No! No! I'm Bongani!"
A third one came and asked him the same question again.
Bongani was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw a certain guy soaking in the sun.
He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?"
This guy was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."
Bongani slapped him in his face and said,
"Shit, you lazy bastard... Everyone is looking for you and here you're lazing in the sun!!!
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Mental Hospital Automated Directory
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following menu options:
If you are obsessive-compu lsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressiv e, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, please press 969696969696969 6.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, please don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Please select from the following menu options:
If you are obsessive-compu lsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressiv e, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, please press 969696969696969 6.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, please don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Harley-Davidson vs Woman
The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.' St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognised Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? '
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...' God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'
Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?' God said, 'Ah, yes.'
'Well,' said Arthur , 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention ! 1 There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension 2. It chatters constantly at high speeds 3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much 4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust 5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!
'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.' God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers...
more men are riding my invention than yours'.
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.' St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognised Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? '
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...' God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'
Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?' God said, 'Ah, yes.'
'Well,' said Arthur , 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention ! 1 There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension 2. It chatters constantly at high speeds 3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much 4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust 5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!
'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.' God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers...
more men are riding my invention than yours'.
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
A nice revange
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.
One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Monday, January 7, 2013
The reason
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"
''I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--''
''Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'' By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so.
''Well," said the farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?"
"Now that's when I said I was fine muddafukka..... sure wasn't going to allow that cop to shoot me between the eyes!"
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"
''I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted. ''Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"
''Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--''
''Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'' By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so.
''Well," said the farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?"
"Now that's when I said I was fine muddafukka..... sure wasn't going to allow that cop to shoot me between the eyes!"
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
WELCOME TO THE STOCK MARKET!!!!
Once upon a time in a village, a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them..
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.
He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for $50."
The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!
WELCOME TO THE STOCK MARKET!!!!
http://koningsberg.blogspot.com/
http://sugiatno-ceritalucu.blogspot.com/
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.
He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for $50."
The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!
WELCOME TO THE STOCK MARKET!!!!
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Thursday, January 3, 2013
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